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from the cicada husk by ~euphorbic:iconeuphorbic:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


From the cicada husk
  fled more than cicada
  but stars that once
  my eyes contained
Only on hesitant return
  to their former abode
  could life resume
  but not the same
        No, not the same
©2006-2009 ~euphorbic
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Submitted: November 29, 2006
File Size: 446 bytes
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Comments: 6
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Author's Comments

I'm not quite straight on my word choices, but I like this one. As always, heavy on imagery and subjective interpretation.

Edited on 6DEC06 with input from Mia.
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Comments


*hbanana7:iconhbanana7: Dec 28, 2006, 2:44:52 AM
it sounds better out loud. Each time I read it, I like it more. Heavy on the imageries indeed. "But the stars that once/ my eyes contained...." are probably my favorite lines.
~euphorbic:iconeuphorbic: Dec 28, 2006, 7:49:12 PM
My writing really doesn't get many comments, which is funny because it is like a billion times better than my visuals. :giggle: Thank you for commenting and telling me what you like. I'm still trying to figure poetry out, so anything you tell me helps! I had this sort of art noveau (sp?) picture in my head. I knew I couldn't draw it, so I wrote it instead. (smile)
*hbanana7:iconhbanana7: Dec 29, 2006, 11:52:07 AM
this poem is really a picture really. It has rhythm(wait, that's music) and imageries that provoke the mind's eye to see the stars trapped in their eyes(like when you get punched) and new life that escapes the husk transformed. You could interpret this in countless ways, and I like that. It also reminds me of some greek philosopher's saying that you can never step in the same water twice.
*hbanana7:iconhbanana7: Dec 29, 2006, 11:57:13 AM
i also think you are getting better at your poetry. There are always sources to learn about assimilies(??), rhythm, rhyme, and all the different kinds of poetries; but a relaxed(not taking oneself TOO seriously) mind that is in tune with music of the sound of the words, imageries...one can't go wrong. It is at least a start. These days, I like reading Shakepeare's sonnets. Double meanings and word combinations makes me sick.
~likhain:iconlikhain: Sep 4, 2007, 10:50:38 AM
I'm with Hannah, my favorite lines are "but stars that once/my eyes contained", though I really like the opening lines too.

The strength of this piece is the strong rhythm, I think, and the way it kind of spirals in around a very vivid core (I'm not making sense...!). It reads like music, forte, largo.

--
the light of life
~euphorbic:iconeuphorbic: Sep 6, 2007, 6:48:46 PM
You always have the best compliments. Don't forget that you helped me tweak this, so it is what it is now in thanks to you, Myaw.
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